Live Blogging Winter Soldier - Panel 1

I'll do my best to write some comments here on Winter Soldier Northwest in Portland. This is going to be emotional stuff, so I'm not sure how I'll do here conveying the experiences of these brave soldiers who are speaking out about their experiences here. And what they are saying is filtered through my own hand at writing.

If you are reading this please come on down - It's happening 12-5 at the Unitarian Church in Portland- click the link above for more info.

It's about 12:30, and it's starting. 

Introductions - Megan Broker, Organizer with PDX Peace and IVAW, and Malcolm Chaddock of VFP Chapter 72.

Panel 1 begins. 

Chanan Suarezdiaz, a Navy hospital corpsman and purple heart recipient who served in Ramadi from September 2004 to February 2005 with a weapons company. He is now the Seattle Chapter president of IVAW.

Speaking about his experiences in Ramadi. 

(I am finding it hard to write about what they are saying, so anyone reading this, if you want the whole thing unfiltered, please check KBOO - because they are recording this for broadcast later

[Tech difficulties: I just lost about an hour of writing on this, which was really disappointing - just lost Chanan's testimony, and Jan's]

Jan Critchfield, a specialist with the Army National Guard who served as an army “journalist” while attached to the 1st Cavalry in Baghdad during 2004. His unspoken job in Iraq was to "counter the liberal media bias" about the occupation.  He is a member of IVAW Seattle. 

[Tech difficulties: lost his testimony.] 

Joseph Holness, from Gresham, Oregon served eight years in the US Army in Iraq and nine years with the US Air Force Reserves supporting Operation Enduring Freedom and Operation Iraqi Freedom 

Wanted to join intelligence team. After 911, knew things were going to get tough. Investigated human intelligence - "Snitches".  Most of their raids came from human intelligence - not filtered at all, if someone told them someone was a terrorist, then they would raid their house - and find zero evidence. Became a crazy cycle of harassing people in Iraq. 

Said it seemed like everyones house in Iraq got kicked down.

The Iraqis don't know why you are there.

Big deal in Vietnam: How many did you kill?

Big deal in Iraq: How many did you detain?

Premiums put on how many people did you arrest.

While arresting them in their house, he somebody's mother would be hanging on them screaming about why are you arresting my son?

Alot of people were detained from absolutely no reason. Statements from soldiers about why they were arrested: "Looked Sketchy", or "running away from Strykers". Says that if he was an Iraqi he'd run away, too.

Interesting: Operation Freedom. Says dissent is not allowed in Iraq, so how could that be freedom for Iraqis. Says that's what they seem to be setting up in this country. Freedom somehow means dissent.

Speaks about interrogating: Abuse of prisoner is perceived as success. 

Want's to apologize to Iraqis.

They have the Iraqis do some of the dirty work - torture. 

Right now Barack Obama is talking about sending troops to Afghanistan. Says there's no difference between someone fighting the occupation in Iraq an dAfghanistan, so we should reject this call for troops in Afghanistan. 

Evan Knappenberger, served one year in Iraq with the Army 4th Infantry Division working as an intelligence analyst; held one week long “Tower Guard Vigils” in Bellingham, WA and Washington, DC to call attention to the STOP-LOSS policy.

Subjective ethics of command policy - uncritical of politics.

Juxtaposition with politics of principles.

Blood spent from our politicaians.

Responsible not as soldiers, but as murders. for Iraqi deaths. My belief.

When joined, abandoned morals, principles, better judgement.

Felt became guilty. Only someone who has been through with it can understand.

Actions can become done by people who are thinking they are doing good.

Jesus: Forgive them father for they do not know what they do.

Main contention is with the US executive and us command: says they are fools.

Small mindedness and justification of violence in the name of freedom:

for his testimony email wintersoldier@pdxpeace.org.

Complaining that 'freedom is not free' - Jefferson 'freedom is not disjoined from the human condition'.

Gigantic misconceptions allowed war to start. We lost this war on semantic battleground.

Rules of engagement = murder

Iraqi Police =

Liberation = justified occupation

etc. "this i witnessed"

Soldiers come to your village, give children candy and useless junk. Rip through your orchards and detain your family. People in village start grumbling. One night a plane circles overhead. mothers come out of their homes to find their husbands. Men with guns,  gunshots, explosions. People dead, fathers shot.

how do you know that your father has been killed for violating curfew in his own orchard.

"Operation November Rain" - from a rock song.

One small slice of his experiences.

A bit of a rant politically.

freedom is free. war is ignorance. military is opposed to human rights

Seth Manzel, an Army sergeant who served as a vehicle commander and machine gunner in Iraq.  Member of IVAW Seattle.   

Many people he was with have been back 3 or 4 times.

Patrolling around. Caught up in mile long ambush. Air was cool. All of a sudden tracers in the air all over the place. Looked beautiful - for a second people were mesmerized, then started firing back. miracle to get out of there alive. 

Helicopters. Dropped off dismounts. Semi truck coming at them. shot warning shots. the truck stopped. a car from behind sped around and kept on comming at them. didn't want to get hit by a IED. fired more warning shots. more warning shots. emptied pistol into car.

Passengers hit, piled out, they had AK47s. Told vehicle next to them to kill them. Then found out that they were Kurdish militia that were trying to get out. Says this happens all the time - fratricide. was investigated for it, nothing wrong. thought it over a million times since them, and there wasn't anything that they could have done differently. not trying to justify, but these are the things that people are forced into doing. and these are the things that are taken home with you.

Soldier return all the time with these experiences, and are not able to get the healthcare they need, mental healthcare. High rates of spousal abuse.

Intend to start a coffee house outside of Ft. Lewis, talk to soldiers and help them get the healthcare they need - talk to him to support the project.

Chris Arendt,  was a member of c 1-119th field artillery from 2001-2007. He deployed with charlie battery from 2004-2005 to Guantanamo Bay, Cuba where he was a block guard and the escort control for 11 months. While deployed Christopher co-founded the short lived radical G.I. resistance group Motorcycle Awesome. He is a member of Iraq Veterans Against the War (IVAW) Chicago.

Grandfather was a war hero -proud.

In Iraq, carrying a guy in a three piece suit, a prisioner to a cell. realized that all the books read, and cool picures of soldier killing nazis, he couldn't tell the difference between himself and a bad guy. Felt sick about himself for a long time.

worked in Guantanamo Cuba. Wondered why he was there, same things as the people there - some kind of complicated scenario that the government intented. Tried to get out of it told them he was crazy. And sure as hell - did lose his mind while there staring all day long at detainees. then went to his room. Felt like he was in a concentration camp.

Thought about Gardening. Tomatoes - plant tomatoes, right? Not like foreign policy.

Democracy in America works because we have a justice system. We do to these places and sent up a non-just, non legal system. Killing, murdering without reprocussions. Take people out of their home and detain them for years. Can do this in a uniform, but otherwise you'd be a mass killer or high profile criminal in this country.

650 people in Guantanamo.

Read: Enemy Combatant by _________

We are ruining peoples lives. No structure to it.

Siitting there all day long, making justifications to it, all day. Then when you come back, it's still all day long, always there in your head. 

Silent killer - Mental fantasies of tor ture - but they don't have to do that, just lock them up and tell them that they are not going home and going to be there forever. same thing.

Green paint inside  guantanamo - terrible color.

Thing hates the most: Calloused emptiness. Rarely any emotions at all. Wished was angrier while there. Felt like there was no way to feel. Feelings bring you down and make it longer and harder. "Feel later" 3 years after getting out, still trying to do that.

David Mann, was an Army Specialist  whose Army occupation was mainly working on the Army radios.  He was deployed to Nasiriyah, Iraq in 2003 and stop lossed for a second deployment to Balad, Iraq in 2005. He is a member of IVAW Denver.

Basic training 2001. Recruits running around saying they were gonna get bin Laden. Said "I didn't sign up for this".

Nonesense for peaceful resolution, UN, at some point US would invade Iraq.

Invasion, going North into Iraq.

Remember crossing the border.

Children without shoes, begging for food and water. Don't stop if they run in front of you.

Send back to Kuwait. Back home - Christmas. 21 year old veteran. Others young enjoying their youth - knows he is suffereing.

Back in Iraq - soldier says - check you leave date. -changed from 2005 to 2006 - found out on his earning statement, on his birthday. Depressed, wanted to kill himself.

told Army councilor that he was goign to kill himself instead of war. Talked him down. Spent another Christmas in Kuwait.

Corkscrew landings - drive through the night while it was unsafe to drive. 

KBR was going to take over their maineneance mission. Fixed radios, computers eyevision goggles.

KBR hired people with security clearances or the knowledge, but not both, but didn't know how to do it. So he had to train government contractors to do his  job, they were making 75,000 dollars a year to do his job.

Here to let people know that there is alot of money being spent in this war, and it has to do with the economic crisis. Why are people being paid 75000 a year for a war that should have never happened.

McCain's bracelet - every person that has died he feels like it has been in vain. There is a human cost of war.

thank you to IVAW..

Joseph Holness, from Gresham, Oregon served eight years in the US Army in Iraq and nine years with the US Air Force Reserves supporting Operation Enduring Freedom and Operation Iraqi Freedom.

Starts by saying: we support the troops, we don't support this war - has heard people attacking them as 'not supporting the troops' - not true.

Career military. 8years. Air force. UAE 2003 Enduring Freedom.

Body bags - saw them.

Told by commanding officer - you are going to Iraq. In charge of a gun truck platoon. Living with the Army augmenting the army.

From onset of war thought it was a tactical and moral mistake. but did his job.

Saw many RPGs, IEDs, small arms fire, many people get maimed and killed, both soldier and civillians.

Citizens interrogated - duct tape on mouth, fathers, in front of their children.

This is in the service os spreading "PAX Americanna" across the globe.

We weren't there to liberate the people - the real estate.

Commanding officer says 'we have a morale problem'. Tell our soldier that we are liberating them. Said no sir I won't lie to these people I know why we were here.

Seething mad about this war. came back - his medicine cabinet is a pharmacists dream.

Encourages Vets to get hooked up into VA system - get help, get therapy. Often times sees people going downhill over time.

Once home, want to carry on with our lives, integrate into society.

People said: "Thank you for protecting my freedom" - ticked him off. Their freedom was not being threatened.

Ben Lewis(?)

refused his activation into the Marine Corp.

What personal experience has led to become a war resister? thought about this.

More and more he feels like they may ask outside this country - why would you fight this war? 

His platoon dropped rounds on a house - a surviving woman is hysterical. Made her walk 5 miles, couldn't help her.

Checkpoint: can't let someone through who wants to go home. Says to guy who they aren't letting through - we just want to go home, sorry. Iraqi says: well, how 'bout you go home and I'll go home. Passed this information up to his superiors: was not well recieved.

He's not special - the fact that he is a combat veteran does not make him more that others who are also against this war.

Camilo Mejia, a National Guard staff sergeant who after fighting for five months in Iraq, became the first combat soldier to refuse to go back to Iraq. He now serves as Chair of the Board of Iraq Veterans Against the War and is the author of Road from ar Ramadi.

Thanks to the organizations who made this event possible.

Share a couple stories.

Firefight we had - exposes alot of things in Iraq we are not aware of. An experience that led him to be a CO and oppose war in general.

After arrived in Ramadi - (called Sunni Triangle, but was never called that by Iraqis). After a couple week there started to get attacked, and became experts in getting attacked, IEDs. quickly learned what to look for in attacks, what to look out for. Don't stay in one place too long - gives those who are attacking the information to attack.

It became a matter of policy with him to not stay in one place for more than a half an hour.

Leaders who make policy, military officials - not what happens on the ground.

Setting up military contol point - set up at sacred mosque, sure way to infuriate locals. not respectful.

running this traffic control point, occupied side of mosque, running what looked like valet parking for civilian parking - keeping their cars. Kept the civilians with them because likeley to get attacked, keeping civilians with them. A mistake, told patol leader that this was a mistake.

A man failed to stop when told to come to a halt.

Standing with friend of his. Heavy firing started - soldier shooting car, came to halt in front of him. The car was 'glowing' from being lit up with bullets. Was not questioning what went on at the time - just something that was happening. Brought his rifle up and started squeezing the trigger. didn't know why he was shooting at it - others were. 

Image: person in the car wasn't human, a bundle of flesh blood bone, the head hanging from a third of what was left of his neck. Memories are so hard to deal with - this is an image. Turned away from it, asked his friend what were we shooting at. Realize they were under attack. Muzzle flashes from rooftop - shooting back with everything they had - grenade launchers. not enought room to use them.

Started shooting out the floors below - at people that were not under attack.

walked  perimiter of area, civilians dead, attacked again, grenades.

walked perimiter again, dead and wounded civilians, people asking for help. this became an infinite ordeal.

Attacked again. Backup came. Humvee with machinegun. 

First they opened up on the wrong building. And then another wrong building. and then finally where the attack was coming from.

At least 7 dead Iraqi civilians. and the attackers no where to be found.

You aren't ordered to kill civilians, but it happens every day.

Congressman Murtha: the occupation is a atrocity producing situation. Not one of his favorite people but he got this right.

We have to end this - thank you very much for your support.

The first Panel has ended. 

Read more - Live Blogging Winter Soldier - Panel 2 - Families